"Very distubing, how old are you?" ....Those were the words the doctor told me after looking at an X-ray of my chest, and the reason I tried to quit smoking.
My eyes are now twitching...no its not cancer. I've experienced this one before... they are breaking down on me once more. Once again not sleeping is having an effect on my eyes. They twitch on their own without me even feeling or knowing. I only find out when people are like "Whoa, cool how'd you do that?!" ..."Do what?"..."make your eye move like that".
There is a simple remedy, the doctor gave me it. Sleep. I've been off lunesta for months... I can't afford another addiction. This all happened because of crap like that. Back in med school I had to STUDY. I mean STUDY.... Friesen times ten studying. Everything was spanish, everything was new... imagine studying molecular biology, or physiology in a language you didn't even know for the first time. Spent countless nights translating, soaking in info, etc. No time for sleep, but the body craved it and claimed what was rightfully his regardless. I had to find a solution, another med student in my apartment complex had that. "sin suenos, este cabrones te va a dejar despierto por dias ...ahuevo va" They did just that, and I had the time I needed.
I think they were caffeine pills?.. at least thats what I hope. Nevertheless when I gave up the lifestyle and I could once again allow my best friend the sandman to visit, he didn't come. My body had been screwed beyond repair over the years of torture, both from those pills and the changes I had endured mentally. My mind is sooo, and tooo, active now.I'm just glad I got out before I jumped off a building like my friend Rishi Cummins. I find myself thinking about him... for those of you that seem stumped. Rishi graduated my year from SJC. Brilliant kid, he was terribly young too. He took 11 CXCs and faack almost all grade ones... he set a new record in the Caribbean and received so many awards. That kid was going places. Cut a year forward... he commit suicide by jumping off a building on his campus. Something about not hacking it anymore...always studying since he was born. I felt sorry for him. His mother didn't even allow simple pleasures like watching WWF, or playing games, he had to study when everyone else was being a kid. I'm glad I got out when I did.
My poor eyes, they've suffered the most in my journey. From the scar and partial blindness in my left eye from the car accident, to the things I've seen, and now to the lack of sleep.
My eyes are twitching... I wonder if I will need to close my eyes every night like before, to rest my eyes, yet being wide awake under my lids. At least I'll be alone. Wide awake under my eye lids, thinking, thinking, thinking.... my mind wont let me rest.
I need a cigarette. Bai
Link and Navi
