Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Backbone

It's amazing how much a little cruelty can change a person. I don't know but people might consider me to be a "meanie"? I more think I'm just frank and blunt, I tend to speak my feelings and my mind whatever intentions or thoughts might linger on them at the time. So I can be very blunt and shocking for people that don't know me, and at the same time very humorous for the ones that do. I think most of my friends find me entertaining because of that same attitude I have towards everyone and everything and they take it as joke, and laugh about it. Heck I'm glad they take it that way haha?

Anyhow, there are the other type of people that are always, super friendly, sociable, overachieving gah.... this annoys me beyond all reason. I myself don't know why, but it doesn't annoy me when they are that way with others but rather when they try to bring that persona my way. And their stupid personality most naturally conflicts with mine and boom! A whole heap of shit.

Rather recently I had a person annoying me with the whole "true love" dilemma. It turned me off more than anything the persistence of this person, and saying crap that were SO mushy. Gah! Don't get me wrong, when I like someone I can warm up a bit but deep down, I think I'm always gonna be a bit of an asshole. And I feel sorry for the people that warm up to my more sensitive side because then they are not prepared for "me". After totally being turned of by this person I guess the real me seeped out and I kinda bombarded the person. So yes I was a bit cruel to her, but it was never my intention just, its who I am? I can't help it that I piss people off, although I must say its rather amusing.... meh I don't know what wrong with me, but I wont change, and I like the person I am... it works for me.

So yes, its amazing how a bit of cruelty can change a person. As I have changed, with the same experience I had bestowed on this person to become the person I am today, so has she changed. Finally some backbone, finally not so annoying. I'm proud. Sadly we all change with the things that are thrown our way in life. That I guess is the sucky part. No matter how hard you try, life experiences just changes someone and you'll never be the person you were 3 years ago, or even 2.

I had a person I have to admit I was very much in love with. I think I still am, ...might be the source of my bitterness? ha who knows. I know for sure that whatever I had, its over with; no matter how long it took me to accept this. But after what I went through there, I was never the same. It made me who I am today, and I have to believe it was meant to be? Heck even she in just one short year abroad changed, after coming back she was such a different person. From the eccentric, sociable, lovable girl I fell in love with to a total depressive, antisocial bitch.




ha. Oh how wonderful the seasons of changes are. Like a tear in the ripple of time....

4 comments:

Tracy Tillett said...
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Anonymous said...

?

Domanick Fabro said...

what?

Anonymous said...
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